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Archive for November, 2010

Details Details Details

 What makes a woman insane? Details. … and interpretations of details.

Again, I always feel the need to make this disclaimer: Although I may speak in generalities on this particular blog, I am speaking mostly from my own point of view and observation of myself and other women.

With that said, I shall continue…

So. Details. Yeah, they mean something…and sometimes they mean something bad (in our minds, that is).  And should they repeatedly mean something bad, the more they seem to stand out.

Example: You turn down sex to play a video game (true story) = bad sign.

“Bad sign” can mean ALL sorts of things, depending on the situation….but if you do that one too many times… you’re obviously not interested anymore (or so we think). Or, if we think about it TOO much (bad idea…but it’s likely to happen)… it can mean all sorts of stupid things…like “I’m too fat”. Yeah, don’t even TRY to understand that one. You might have more luck figuring out how apples are similar to concrete.

I have found myself from time to time looking so closely at the details of a guy’s behavior and consequently, trying to  interpret them. Waste of time, really. All it does is cave myself in on myself (yay!), if it hasn’t already done that to the relationship.

Now, I feel the need to point this out:  So far, I’ve been mostly correct in some form or fashion on my “interpretations”. Women are pretty smart… well, some of them. But generally, they are. In the past, when I have perceived that something was wrong in a relationship, I was right. Even while keeping my cool, I perceived that my “significant other” at the time was wanting to back out of this “arrangement” with me… and as upset as I was at the thought of that (I really, really liked this one in particular), I kept my cool as best as I could and asked him. After a bit of prodding, my perception proved to be true. That’s one example…and yes, I do have more.

The thing is, some women – or people, rather – are more perceptive than others. I support whole-heartedly the idea that people are, to some degree, in communication with each other outside of the “normal” means of communication…like talking, writing, sign-language, etc. I’ve been lucky enough to know someone who, like me, can “pick up” on emotions and even the thoughts of others.

I’m going to stop here and point out the fact that I’m talking about something entirely different than jealousy. I certainly will not attempt to claim I’m not human and say that I’ve never been jealous (Ever heard that one? Yeah… I have. B.S. That’s all I have to say on that) …but I’m not talking about jealousy, so we’ll leave it at that for now.

So, my point is, we do see details…and they can mean something. If they mean something bad, alarms may sound (at least on the inside). Are they legit? Do they REALLY matter? Does this blog actually make any sense?

Of course not! This concentration on details and the linking of these details to other details in the past is completely insane. I mean…..not institutionally insane…but if you were to turn up the volume on it a bit more, it could happen.

For you guys out there, my only advice is to just merely be aware of this. Be aware of the fact that she’s aware of the details. Don’t get all paranoid about it – that’ll just generate some more “details”. Just be aware. Keep your cool. And communicate. Please. If you notice that she’s acting weird or upset and it’s in someway or another directed at you….but she’s not saying anything about it… communicate. Please. Ask. Even if you don’t know how to go about it “diplomatically”, just bluntly ask: “Why are you upset?”. Even if it comes out angry, fine. It’s better than no communication – that shit kills relationships, especially when the details start lookin’ really shitty.

Have fun!

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